JOSE

JOSE
the state of being completely forgotten or unknown

Friday, February 16, 2007

if i loved You j.a. ibarra

if i love You
e.e. cummings

if i love You
(thickness means
Worlds inhabited by roamingly
stern bright faeries

if you love
me) distance is mind carefully
luminous with innumerable gnomes
Of complete dream

if we love each (shyly)
other, what clouds do or Silently
Flowers resembles beauty
less than our breathing

My OWN POEM
if i loved You
by j.a. ibarra

if i loved You
(memories of us
would still exists with me
adding to my dreams

if you loved
me) distance would have strengthen our relationship but you made the
decision not to

if we loved each (shyly)
other, what others thought or Past
Experiences wouldn’t have affected us
and we still could have…
loved

I like the way that e.e cummings used “if I love you, if you love me, and if we love each (shyly) other,” at the beginning of each of her stanza because I feel that the poem sort of tells the reader a story to understand how much both of them loved each other. I also like how she chose where to capitalize words and when not to.
Similarly, in my poem I followed the same structure that Cummings used and also only capitalized specific words. But I think that the main change that I did was instead of writing about “if i love You” I went ahead and wrote the poem with “if i loved you.” My ending is also different but I think that, it was my own personal choice to do that and not ended the same way that she did.

3 comments:

AD said...

I like the poem you did in response to E. E. Cummings poem. I feel by creating your own I was able to understand it better since I know you as an individual. It was easier for me to draw a connection. I like the way the poems were structure too. The emotions that can occur when reading this poem can cause a person to smile or frown based on its intersecting tone.

Noel said...

This comment is probably going to be different than all the other comments you have had, but first of all I like your style of writing this poem because I dont understand it. Just to make myself more clear, I dont understand all of your peom like many other peoms that i have read from other peots like E.E. Comming's. I might just be stupid, but I dont completely understand your poem. What i do understand is that the speaker, whether it be you or not, might be truelly in love. Or that love has gone away. Probably part of the reason i dont entirely comprehend your peom is because i did not understand the one you mimiced, so your was equally as difficult. I like the way your poem matches her peom, but at the same time reflects your own voice.

flipxfx said...

cummings is a guy.